The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize