...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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