Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
they need to just BURY HIM!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
