so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
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Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
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You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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