no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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