I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
