Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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