At least make sure they are 18
Why
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
