We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
