Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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