yo everyone went to the hospital last night
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
