I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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