They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
