Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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