We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
