I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
