so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
