Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
