so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
