Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is wine microwaveable?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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