She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
