Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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