Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
