When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
