absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?