he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
