i just wanna soil my oats bro
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
