yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
