HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
