Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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