I think I am morally bankrupt
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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