i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
