We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize