Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
