Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
