dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
