uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
