So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
