haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
