yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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