so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
