I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I love you.
Bad choice
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize