They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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