i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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