Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
