writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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