lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
