Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
