How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Fuck appropriateness.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Two words: blizzard sex
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
