So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you traded sex for a burrito?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
