HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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