Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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