somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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