I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
