Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
