the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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