some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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