i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
