My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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