Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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