I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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