I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize