I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
