Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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