You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
