i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
