god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I smell like Dick and happiness
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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