the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
