There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
