operation have a gay friend backfired
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
