i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
