Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
