I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize