So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
