Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
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Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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